The Art of Influence - Dr. Tunku Alina Alias

Last night, I attended a talk by Dr. Tunku Alina Alias, organized by Chevening Malaysia Alumni. It was a 45 minute webinar, but I learned a lot. 

Full credits to the organizing team!

Below are some key takeaways regarding the art of influence:

1. The first step is to start with why. 

• What is our purpose and cause? Why would you wish to influence anyone?

2. How can we do it? 

• Before we even start, we need to create rapport. The method to influence depends on the intent. People use a variety of methods - Educate, advocate, threats, bribes... Again, it all depends on the intent. The best way though, is to inspire. 

3. We need to know the drivers of human condition.

• Different people are driven and persuaded by different conditions - Intellect, bias, emotion, circumstances, desperation, superstition, greed... By understanding our counterpart, we can use the best approach. 

4. In short, extraordinary influence method:

• Requires and depends on purpose, technique, occasion, time horizon and person. 

5. Leadership encompasses a wide range of dimensions - personal, family, team, community, corporation, political and etc. The facets of a leader is divided into:

• Innate - Personality, talent, charisma, internal strength, will, comfortable in tension, emotional resilience.
• Art - Developing intact core, building credibility and personal branding, learning communication skills, acquiring resources, networking (is vital, it is part of 'work'. We don't call it netplaying), wisdom of humidity, influence and inspire. 

6. Active listening ability is key:

I first came across this understanding from Prof. Arfah Salleh of Putra Business School, UPM in 2014

That's why we all have a pair of ears and eyes, but only one mouth. 

In summary, the art of influence involves:

1. Active listening skills
2. Creating alignment and trust
3. Recognizing the human before you and their needs
4. Affirmation and encouragement at the right rime
5. Provide guard rails and watching out for derailment

We had some interesting questions from the floor and these are the answers from Dr. Tunku. 

1. People always remember how you made them feel, no so much what you said. So treat people as human first. 

2. How do we manage when we are of a minority in society (ethnicity, gender)?

• Sometimes, we may need to recognize that some things cannot be changed. But we should not give up. Never underestimate the power of collective voices of the masses. 

3. What happens when someone is also trained and tries to influence us? 

• It is always challenging if someone comes with an agenda. There is no point trying to influence them back. We can help people with problem, but cannot help problem people. 
• We rather have honest people, and we are open to be persuaded. When we feel that we are being manipulated, we need to turn around. We need to recognized our counterpart.