Bako National Park, Kuching, Sarawak

Bako National Park is definitely underrated among Malaysians. Not many heard of it, but this national park turned out to be worthy of a visit. 

You can fly from Senai, Johor to Kuching directly. We got our return flights on AirAsia for RM180 each. Flight time from Senai to Kuching is about 1 hour 15 min, which was a bit surprisingly fast. AirAsia was also punctual. 

After arriving in Kuching at noon, we took a 20-min boat ride from Bako Park Jetty

I observed that the number of visitors was surprisingly low, so was scale of open/available treks. The park is huge, but only a small portion is open to the public. Most of the time, you basically have the entire beach or treks to yourself. This is somewhere exclusive with an affordable price tag. Some people would label this place boring, but I found peace and 'Zen' here. 

Why rush back to Kuching if you could enjoy a serene sunset at Bako National Park?

Most locals do day trips (9am to 3pm), while most westerners would stay at the hostel for a night, then visit somewhere else. For us, we booked the hostel for 2 nights, as there were much to see. Part of me doubt you could see the best of any national parks within a day or two. I personally thought the hostel (at RM 100 per room per night) was decent. 2 of us took 1 room. 

The fan was good, but it was a bit too loud.

I had a good rest for 2 nights. Meanwhile, food is available at the canteen, which cost more due to the remoteness. A complete meal cost around RM12. A cup of milo kosong is RM4. I would suggest to bring some snacks or chocolates from Kuching. 

It's been too long since my last hike, while it's the first time someone tried hiking, oblivious of the challenges

I still rate Malaysia having the best national parks and trails in the region

I woke up the next day rather pleased. It was a national park, so it was quiet and air was really fresh. 

I like to observe tourist

The Proboscis Monkey was having breakfast - A particular type of leaves

What more do you want?

The Singapore Story - Memoirs of Lee Kuan Yew

In many ways, every Malaysian should read this book, especially the last third of the book, where Mr. Lee explained about the fight for independence of Singapore via merger and the formation of Malaysia (1963), and on the careful plans of independence from the Federation (1965). This is a blockbuster book of modern Singapore/Malaysia history.

Mr. Lee has in the preface state that this book is not official history, but tells the story of the Singapore he group up (British, WW2 with Japanese brutality, communist insurrection, Indonesia confrontation, communal riots and intimidation during Malaysia). With his wife Ms. Kwa, also a lawyer going through and reviewing this book, I feel that this is nothing short of an accurate journey down history. 

An interesting read for me, was the struggle with the communist in the early to mid 1950s. It was definitely a blessing that Mr. Lee won the many internal and external battles against the communist underground, which was on paper, more superior and have majority of the local Chinese support. It was too easy to use Chinese education and culture as pretext to influence the population. I was surprised to read about Tan Lark Sye (陈六使), being linked to the communist and was being stripped his citizenship. He was top of Mr. Lee's wanted list in 1963, when the it was not politically suicidal to take him out. Tan remained stateless till his last days in the 70s. 

Today, Tan Lark Sye is a major benefactor of chinese education in Singapore and Malaysia. He is often spoken in the same breath as people like Tan Kah Kee and Lee Kong Chian, early pioneers and contributors of chinese education during the pre-war years. 

The 2 years in Malaysia between 1963-65 were tough. Mr. Lee knew that by working with the 2 Borneo states closely, he could actually mount a challenge against the alliance. Another way was to replace MCA's role in the alliance. Needless to say, MCA was fearful and was always the first to attack the PAP. The final nail on the coffin was his notion of Malaysian Malaysia in early 1965. 

Mr. Lee was gracious in acknowledging his team - Goh Keng Swee (originally from Melaka), Toh Chin Chye (Taiping), Raja (Seremban), Othman Wok, etc. all signed the declaration of independence in August 1965. The negotiation for independence of Singapore (some say ejection from the Federation of Malaysia) was done in total secrecy between the the Tunku, Tun Razak, and Dr. Ismail under the nose of the British. The British would never allow Singapore to secede, as this crippled the concept of Malaysia. It also provided encouragement for Sukarno to continue his Konfrantasi, who dubbed Malaysia as a neo-colonial project. The Tunku said that he could work with Mr. Lee if they don't share the same parliament. In other words, being sovereign countries, Malaysia and Singapore will be good neighbours and help each other. The separation in 1965 definitely shook the region. 

In hindsight, where we are in 2023, this looked like the correct arrangement. 

It was an exhilarating read. It was something that history text books did not touch. It gave me different perspectives. There is no doubt that history is written by the victor, but you still have to take your hats off on how Mr. Lee pulled the strings and had the foresight to lead Singapore out of the Federation. Mr. Lee then wrote the 2nd volume to tell the story of a new Singapore: https://weesertan.blogspot.com/2023/03/from-third-world-to-first-singapore.html  

Bird's eye view over Peninsular Malaysia

I was on a flight back to Singapore from Penang early this month. I deliberately chose a window seat, hoping to enjoy the 1.5-hour flight. It has been always a hobby of mine to identify landmarks, towns and structures from 22,000 ft. 

The plan flew southwards above the west coast of the peninsular, and made a sharp left turn when approaching the straits of Johor (between Singapore), flew above my home town of Skudai towards the east to the South China Sea, before making a U-turn into Changi Airport. 

It was a wonderful flight, and for once, I didn't sleep during a flight. 

The Penang 2nd Bridge, 24 km, and quite under-utilized

Jimah Power Station (2 blocks)

The jetty and coal unloading system

Downtown Melaka

An unidentifiable power station - It isn't Kapar nor Tuanku Jaafar. Anyone has the answer?

Iskandar Putri, or formerly known as Gelang Patah - Tun Aminah will be on the bottom left corner

Alas, the busiest international border in the world - The Causeway, where some 200,000 people cross everyday

Chip War - Chris Miller

I took modules in semiconductor and very large-scale integrated circuit (VLSI) during university days. I understood semiconductor theory well, but generally ghost through VLSI. The best students got jobs in the semicon industry, such as with Intel, who would pay up to RM 4K in 2010. I joined a power plant, who paid around RM 2.3K (which was relative, as I was bonded. They had sponsored my studies for 5 years). Still, the brightest electronic engineers went to Singapore or Penang.

A colleague (specialist in semiconductor risk) introduced this book to me, and as a trained electrical engineer, I could recommend this book more. 

Credits to NLB for this book

The founders of Silicon Valley (in the 60’s) were physicist and electronic engineers, who were scientists at core.

It was inspiring reading about people like Gordon Moore (CEO of Intel, famed for his 1965 Moore’s Law), Morris Chang (ex-Texas Instruments and founder of TSMC), Akio Morita (co-founder of Sony, which in the 80’s invented the Sony Walkman), Robert Noyce (co-founder of Fairchild Semiconductor and Intel), Ren Zhengfei (founder of Huawei), Jay Lathrop (co-inventor of photolithography) and other titans of the semiconductor industry.

In 2023, we talk about tech giants like Microsoft, Google, Amazon and social media platforms like Facebook, Tik-Tok (which I don’t have an account), etc. All of these require computer and processing power, originating from a chip. Those days, semiconductor makers were the tech millionaires, and they were mostly located in Silicon Valley or in Texas.

The book gives a fun and interesting story of how a potato chip maker (Jack Simplot of Idaho) invested in semicon chip manufacturing. He would later found Micron, one of the only remaining (important) American chip maker left. Micron focused ruthlessly on costs because it had no choice. Survival was a real struggle (against the Japanese and Taiwanese fabs).

From Third World to First - The Singapore Story (1965-2000)

When my mother-in-law passed me this book (750-pages) 3 weekends ago, I had some doubts if I could finish it. But this book proved to be a magnet. Anyone interested in South East Asia’s modern history will learn much from this book.

"This is not a how-to book, whether to build an economy, an army, or a nation. It is an account of the problems my colleagues and I faced, and how we set about solving them." 

At 35, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew was prime minister of self-governing Singapore from 1959. In 1963, Singapore had formed the Malaysian Federation with Malaya, Sarawak and Sabah.

Mr. Lee never expected to take charge of an independent Singapore at the age of 42, in 1965. Practically no one thought Singapore could survive. No natural resources, no jobs, no army/self-defence, the early days were a mess, with a lot of firefighting.

Those were also the days of Sukarno’s Konfratasi, covert attacks on Malaysia and Singapore. The British naval base in Singapore was a deterrent. On 18 November 1967, the British devaluated the pound sterling from US$2.80 to USD$2.40, and Singapore’s reserve, which were still kept in London in sterling lost 14.3%. Politics in the UK also meant that forces to the east of Suez will withdraw by the end of 1971. Singapore would lose about 20% of GDP and 30,000 jobs with the end of British military spending, and the future would be uncertain. Mr. Lee tried to prolong the British presence in Singapore. The Vietnam war was on-going, and the MCP (Malayan Communist Party) was a real threat. Alas, he was able to negotiate some agreements with Australia, NZ and Malaysia to form a pact, and by 1968, he took a 3-month sabbatical at Harvard, after running office for 9 years.

Mr. Lee is staunchly anti-communist, though he worked with them in the 50s. Forming the Malaysian Federation was to prevent the formation of a communist regime in the former colonies. His encounter and negotiation with the Plen could be made into a James Bond movie. He first met the Plen when he was an assemblymen 1958, where the PAP worked with the MCP. Their final meeting (in Singapore) was in May 1961. Mr. Lee then gave the Plen a public notice for him to leave Singapore before Malaysia Day, September 1963. Both would meet at Diayutai (VIP statehouse), Beijing in August 1995. The Plen wanted to return to Singapore, but Mr. Lee didn’t agree, until he discloses his accounts with the ISD by demonstrating that he had cut off his links with the CPM.

The Plen said the Malaysian Special Branch had invited him to return; why could Mr. Lee not be as generous as the Malaysian government? Mr. Lee told him the obvious: The CPM could not win over its Malay mass base, unlike Singapore’s Chinese base. Mr. Lee suggested the Plen to accept the Malaysian government’s offer. The Plen was not amused.

Road Trip in Perak, Malaysia

For the longest time, I wanted to visit the towns of the Malaysian state of Perak, for the food and some doses of history. I have met many friends from Perak, especially during university days. Perak was definitely a lifelong target, and we planned a 4D3N road trip. We spent a night in Teluk Intan, Taiping and Ipoh respectively. It was perfect intervals.  

A 450km round trip (RM 50 in petrol)

We flew into Ipoh from Johor Bahru with AirAsia last Saturday morning. Flight ticket was RM 230 return, which was rather affordable (having purchased it mid-August). It was my first AirAsia flight for a long long time. The flight was on time, to my surprise. In fact, the return flight from Ipoh to Johor Bahru last Tuesday afternoon departed 20 minutes earlier! 

Ipoh's airport, with mountains on the horizon. 

We rented the smallest available car, for RM120/day from We Rich Car Rental. Other companies cost twice.

Teluk Intan is 90km southeast of Ipoh. It was a pleasant 1.5-hour drive from the airport. It was a chance to catch up with some old friends, by chatting a bit about the local food. My long time friend Darren is from Langkap, and studied his Form 6 in Teluk Intan. My classmate Yeesiong was a local, while my mentor Mr. Chow was also familiar. They both recommended Hawayi, which was just beside our hotel - Anson Hotel.

Mee rebus, laksa and cendol

A bit overkill, but I think it provides accountability and responsibility

The missus, with the 'Leaning Tower' of Teluk Intan (Menara Condong)

Due to sedimentation, the once upright tower to store water (you could still spot the stainless steel water tank and valves inside) started slanting and tilt to the southwest direction. Thankfully, no water is stored inside, and it is now only a tourist attraction.

Perak river - Had its glory days in the late 19th century

Formally known as Teluk Anson, after a British Resident, this was a laidback and sleepy town. Most shops close by 8pm. But people here start their day early. 

The Apple and the Tree - Life as Dr Mahathir's Daughter by Marina Mahathir

Tun Dr Mahathir is probably the most important Malaysian that has lived, for better or worst. To be his eldest child, it was not going to be easy. Living in the shadow of Malaysia's longest serving Prime Minister comes with extreme privilege, which Marina Mahathir acknowledges at the start, but it also comes with the challenges and risk. 

Growing up, Marina Mahathir had found it difficult to step out of her dad's shadow. When she was 15, her dad told her she was mediocre, in hope to spun her further in life. She took that quite personally and heavily, and remembers this episode even as she is 62. Dr. Mahathir would be sorry to read this, but he'll probably won't mind, as she turned out not at all mediocre. 

She became a writer and journalist after graduating from the UK. She found a role for herself in society did well later in life, especially with her work with Malaysia Aids Foundation. She didn't rest on her laurels and made herself as useful as possible. 

In 2018, during the 14th General Election, Marina spoke at political rallies for the first time in her life. She describes the build-up to the election, and how her father, at the age of 92 eventually became the Prime Minister again. There was a lot of jubilation as the country rid herself of corrupted officials that abused power and plundered the nation. 

2 years later, around February 2020, the Pakatan Harapan (PH) government fell, upon the resignation of Dr. Mahathir as Prime Minister. In-fighting in the PH government was fierce. It shook the country, and the people, just before COVID-19 stroke. The week was supposed to be the wedding of Dr. Mahathir's eldest granddaughter, so the whole family was busy. Marina shared some unknown twist and turns behind the scenes. I wouldn't take everything she wrote, but I think majority of her views are valid. 

This is a book worth reading. I am glad to read this book during my mandatory quarantine in Taiwan. Marina is a capable writer who brought her readers far and wide. She had a summer exchange in the US, and explained her days in boarding school and at the University of Sussex, UK.   

I like reading biographies of people from South East Asia. These are more relatable, and inspires me to contribute more to society.   

~~~

I sometimes feel sorry for kids with super-accomplished parents. It either motivates them to achieve more, or just slack them into oblivion, always feeling entitled and lack inspiration. It normally isn't the kid's fault being pampered, wrapped in a cotton wool and stumble at the easiest of dejections. The upbringing plays a huge part, and if you spare the rod, you spoil the child.   

In many ways, I feel extremely fortunate and humbled to have made my parents rather proud. In terms of life accomplishments, most of my peers from my hometown made considerable progress. Like what my secondary school mate Shane Chew said, our group of friends (known as the Atlantiz gang) managed to move up the social ladder, and are generally in a better place than our parents. This, is the same with my parents, who outdid their parents by going and passing school, despite the difficulties in life. There was no doubt that grandparents would marvel at my parent's ability to read and write in English and Malay. I suppose it is only natural that children become better-off than their parents, as parents would strive to provide the best for their kids. 

My oratory skills and stress-resistance capabilities come from mom, while my principles, sense of justice and 做人的道理 comes from dad. This is a lethal combination that made the world my oyster.

No Bones Unturned - Dr. Porntip Rojanasunan

You don't need to seek inspiration from too far abroad. Sometimes, the laypeople around us are just as good. I first read about Dr. Porntip from the Malaysian media, through her punk-rock hair-style several years ago. She was in town to conduct a forensic duty. 

Her second book - No Bones Unturned is simple and down to earth. A fantastic read and I finished it within hours after borrowing from the library. 

Credits to NLB Clementi for making this book available

~~~

This book provided insights of a forensics scientist. Dr. Porntip was able to explain how she helped solved crimes and mysteries through forensics. From conducting investigations on defaced bodies, to looking for bones in a landfill, to identifying human flesh from septic tanks, Dr. Porntip has worked in the harshest of environments. These are not tasks for the faint-hearted (including myself). She made many enemies. For a few years, she helped develop DNA data base in the south of Thailand, where insurgencies were rift. The blockbuster revelation of doubting Teoh Beng Hock's death made her quite an enemy of the Malaysian government, and threatened diplomatic ties. 

What attracted me was her views of life:

When I was young, my father taught me a valuable lesson: To pick up broken glass fragments on the ground if I see them while walking along a path. "Pick them up, wrap them in paper, and throw them away carefully. Because if not, someone else might get hurt. To leave the glass fragments on the ground was a sin. Although I was not the one who shattered the glass, I could be guilty of leaving them behind as a danger for others. 

Several people think that I have had a life that is fraught with hazards and crises. Some may say that I suffered miserably from having performed bad deeds. However, I see myself as having had a life where I have been trained to face dangers and obstacles. 

When I reflect on my working life, I realize that I am someone who lives to work. I do not place a high value on income, rewards or position, but it is fun that I get to work. The work that I do helps to solve a problem or improve a situation. Perhaps my enjoyment of my work comes from my nature of disliking anything that is routine and tedious.

My chosen profession is interesting to me also because it is not a popular choice of work, which means that there are fewer people for me to come into conflict with. There is a Thai proverb similar to the saying "too many cooks spoil the broth". There are very few doctors interested in forensic science, so we do not "spoil the broth".

During my time in the government service, I never 'ran' or 'danced' in order to rise in position. I never felt sad over failing to get any position. Wherever I was, I would look for work to make myself happy and try hard in overcoming challenges. I was like this throughout my time as a government officer (for 35 years). 

What makes my mind able to be calm is the dharmic principle I adhere to: "You reap what you sow; dharma will protect those who protect it."

What an inspiration. 

~~~

Her first book -  The Dead Do Talk seems to be more elusive. I would need to head to central library and read it in the reference section. I am determined to do so. 

The Culture Map - Breaking through the invisible boundaries of global business - Erin Meyer

Culture can be a sensitive topic. Speaking about a person's culture often provokes the same type of reaction as speaking about his mother. Most of us have deep protective instinct for the culture we consider our own, and, though we may criticize it bitterly ourselves, we may become easily incensed if someone from outside the culture dares to do so. 

This is indeed an interesting read. My first experience in cross-cultural studies was when I enrolled in a Cross-Culture Management class by Dr. Asma Abdullah at Putra Business School (UPM) back in 2014. So this was a superb revision and a 'deeper-dive'. Covid has brought a halt to international travels, but the connection with international colleagues, cross-border projects and communication with overseas friends had not stopped. 

It was relieve to have had my first overseas business trip last month. It was great to fly after 2.5 years. 

~~~

Erin Meyer is American and currently lives in Paris with her husband and 2 sons. She's got a wealth of experience and knowledge when it comes to explaining culture difference and bias. She is able to cover the traits of major cultures from around the world - American, British, French, Latin American, Northern and Southern European, Chinese, Indian, Japanese, Korean, Middle East, African, and even Thai and Indonesian. There are many stories and awkward lessons which are shared. 

Meyer breaks down the cultures into 8 main scales:

The key to using the scale is to ALWAYS consider the cultural relativity.

Say for example I am a Malaysian Chinese (no example in the book, but I'll just merge Indonesian + Chinese), and I will most likely be perceived as always prefer to give indirect feedback (#2) when communicating with a German. However, Japanese is likely to be placed to the right on the scale, which means a Japanese may see me has too direct. 

The above scale is able show the differences between the German and French. No wonder, we read lots of misunderstanding. Both are 'confrontational' when there is a disagreement, but the French are 'relationship-based' and adopts 'flexible time', quite opposite to the Germans. 

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck - Mark Manson

In many ways, the title of this book would suggest you should read only if you are >18. It was a bit difficult to digest at first, due to the language and ultra-direct approach. But as I read, it made more sense, and after completing the book, I was glad that I read it. The last few chapters are gold. It gave me new insights of life, and also gave me valuable realization to improve myself. 

I think most of us are always worried and anxious about almost everything - We end up not feeling happy. 

This book shares how to care-less on the artificial things in life while managing more tangible and essential things in life. There are some concepts to note. 

The Feedback Loop from Hell is something we do all the time, especially as a modern day human. 

You get anxious about confronting somebody in your life. That anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you're so anxious. Now you're becoming anxious about being anxious. You are officially anxious about your anxiety, which is causing more anxiety...

You get pissed off at the stupidest, most inane stuff, and you have no idea why. And the fact that you get pissed off so easily starts to piss you off even more. And then, you petty rage, you realize that being angry all the time makes you a shallow and mean person, and you hate this; you hate it so much that you get angry at yourself. So, you are angry at yourself getting angry about being angry. 

Now here's the problem: Our society today, through the wonders of consumer culture and hey-look-my-life-is-cooler-than-yours social media, has bred a whole generation of people who believe that having negative experiences - anxiety, fear, guilt and etc. is not okay. In your Facebook feed, everyone is having a good time, getting married or having nice presents. You are stuck at home flossing your cat.

The Feedback Loop from Hell has made many of us overly stressed, overly neurotic and self-loathing. 

Back in Grandpa's day, he would feel like shit and think to himself: "I feel like cow turd today. But hey, I guess that's just life. Back to shoveling hay." Nowadays, you open Instagram, Tik-Tok and are bombarded with 350 images of people living totally happy lives! This is why not giving a f*ck is key.

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. The acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience. 

The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there. 

You're going to die one day. You and everyone now are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have limited amount of f*cks to give. If you go around giving a f*ck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice, you're going to get f*cked. 

This does not mean that we should not care of anything. We should give our best in what we do, and hope for the best. For important or noble cause (friends, family, purpose), one would not give a f*ck and pursue it in the face of adversity. 

Disappointment Panda - the superhero that reminds us that the greatest truths in life are usually the most unpleasant to hear. He is a hero that none of us would want but all of us would need. He'd make us stronger by tearing us down, brighten our future by showing us the darkness. We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature's preferred agent for inspiring change. Problems are constant in life, and happiness comes from solving problems. So don't avoid your problems. Just do something. Don't wait for inspiration and motivation. Start doing something, and the inspiration may follow. Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress. The solutions to today's problems, will lay the foundation for tomorrow's problems and so on.

Most people f*ck things up in two ways:

1. Denial. This may make them feel good in the short term (temporary high), but nothing good in the long term. 
2. Victim mentality. Some choose to believe that there is nothing they can do to solve their problem. Victims seek to blame others. 

Wow. That is true. I didn't realize that!

People who feel entitled view every occurrence in life as either an affirmation or, a threat to, their own greatness. Entitlement is a failed strategy. It is just another high. It is not happiness. 

The true measurement of self-worth is not how a person feels about her positive experiences, but rather how she feels about her negative experiences. Entitlement plays out in one of two ways:

1. I'm awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deserve special treatment. 
2. I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deserve special treatment. 

Selfish people flop back and forth between the two, depending on the day of the week.

We are for most part, pretty average people. It's the extremes that get all the publicity (via the internet). Every day, we are flooded with the truly extraordinary, the best of the best. The internet has not just open-sourced information; it has also open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt and shame. 

Being average, ordinary and mediocre is normal. You appreciate life's basic experience - simple friendship, creating something, helping someone in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about... Sounds boring, as these are ordinary. But maybe, because they are what actually matters. 

I find the chapter on values / metrics in life really insightful. Mason explains that there are some common values that create really poor problems for ourselves, that can hardly be solved:

• Pleasure - A false god. It is not the cause of happiness, but the effect / by product of it. Ask an adulterer who shattered her family and lost her children whether pleasure ultimately made her happy. 
• Material success - Other values such as honesty, nonviolence and compassion is often sacrificed. 
• Always being right - It's better to assume that you're ignorant and don't know a whole lot. That's how we learn and grow.
• Staying positive - Denying negative emotions leans to experiencing deeper and prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction. Constant positivity is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life's problems. Things go wrong, people upset us, accidents happen, and we will feel like shit. Negative emotions (like suffering) are necessary component of emotional health. The trick with negative emotions is to 1) express them in a socially acceptable and healthy manner and 2) express them in a way that aligns with you values. For e.g., a value of mine is nonviolence. When I get mad at somebody, I express that anger, but I also make a point of not punching them. The anger is not the problem. Anger is part of life and is natural. Punching people is the problem. 

In the long run, completing a marathon makes us happier than eating a chocolate cake. Raising a child makes us happier than beating a video game. Starting a small business with friends while struggling to make ends meet makes us happier than buying a new computer. These activities are stressful, arduous and often unpleasant. Yet they are some of the most meaningful moments and joyous things we'll ever do. The years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. 

The point is to nail down some good values and metrics, and pleasure and success will naturally emerge as a result. Examples of good values: honesty, innovation, vulnerability, standing up for oneself and others, self-respect, curiosity, charity, humility, creativity... Good values are achieved internally.

Examples of bad values: dominance through manipulation, feeling popular and good all the time, being center of attention, not being alone, being liked by everyone, being rich for the sake of being rich. These values are not reality, reliant on external events. There is no way to control how other people think of you.